South Carolina got a rival. If you were worried that SEC women’s basketball was getting a little too chummy, LSU’s hiring of Kim Mulkey is sure to spice things up.
For a real breakdown of LSU’s blockbuster hiring of Mulkey, read this. For a tongue-in-cheek breakdown, stay here.
Even though Texas A&M won the regular season championship, South Carolina’s tournament title and Final Four run seemed to reinforce that the SEC belonged to Dawn Staley and the Gamecocks. All the rivals were gone: Vic Schaefer, the only coach who was able to regularly beat the Gamecocks, is at Texas (though of course the Longhorns and Gamecocks met in the NCAA Tournament); Matthew Mitchell and his tantrums have retired; Sophie Cunningham is now elbowing people in the WNBA. The Gamecocks need somebody to hate, and Mulkey and LSU immediately step into that void. For Gamecock fans who haven’t kept up with Mulkey and Baylor, I’m here to jump-start the rivalry.
Mulkey won three national championships at Baylor, more than the rest of the SEC coaches have combined (Dawn Staley and Gary Blair each have one). That, plus the expectation that she turns LSU quickly into a contender, makes her a rival for the Gamecocks. But it’s Mulkey’s tendency to rub people the wrong way that will make her a good foil for the Gamecocks. She was a Karen before we knew what a Karen was. She’s famously grouchy, much like Geno Auriemma, who is one of her closest friends in the coaching profession, but that’s not why she’s easy to dislike. We’re at least eight months from the Gamecocks and Lady Tigers playing a game, but let’s get a head start on the animosity. Here we offer a guide to disliking Kim Mulkey, before she asks to speak to your manager.
Mulkey is notoriously thin-skinned
She’s not alone in this. Coaches by nature look for any possible perceived slight to serve as motivation and their complaints are usually met with a collective eye-roll, but Mulkey takes it to its illogical extreme. At the press conference prior to the 2019 Sweet 16 (Baylor vs South Carolina in Greensboro), Mulkey was asked to make an opening statement. She refused and proceeded to yell at the assembled media for misquoting her in her opening statement. The opening statement she had not yet made. (Also, Baylor beat South Carolina twice that season, 94-69 and 93-68, so, you know, bad memories.)
She got COVID, and then complained about masks and testing
Mulkey got COVID around Christmas of last season, and then three months later called on the NCAA to stop testing for COVID in the Final Four. The bizarre complaint came shortly after complaining that Baylor was unfairly punished by the selection committee for games it missed while on pause due to COVID. She also made a big show of not knowing how to wear her mask, as if she hadn’t been wearing one for the past year. Although she did catch COVID, so maybe she wasn’t wearing one.
Mulkey said rape victims should be punched in the face
Okay, she didn’t exactly say this, but she also didn’t not say it. Following her 500th win, in the midst of the sexual assault scandal at Baylor (which included more than 50 rapes, including gang rapes, by football players that were covered up by Baylor administrators), Mulkey told the crowd that if anyone spoke negatively about Baylor, “you knock them right in the face.” She doubled-down in her post-game press conference, making clear she was referring to the scandal. A day later Mulkey apologized for ‘a very poor choice of words,” but it was clear she never grasped the situation or sympathized with the victims. One can’t help but notice the irony that she is going to another school with sexual misconduct issues. Okay, there isn’t anything funny about this one. Not at all.
Mulkey made players stay closeted
Brittney Griner is the best player in Lady Bears history, but she has had few good things to say about Mulkey or Baylor. According to Griner, who came out as a lesbian as soon as she left Baylor, Mulkey insisted that LGBTQ players not be public about their orientation because it would hurt recruiting and harm Baylor’s image. Mulkey offered a mealy-mouthed non-denial about Griner’s claims, and the rift between Griner and Mulkey appears to exist to this day. Griner isn’t a perfect person, but Mulkey’s intolerance didn’t help. Maybe this one isn’t funny either.
Mulkey was suspended for an NCAA Tournament game
Mulkey isn’t alone in being a sore loser or taking out her frustration on the media, but she goes to another level. Mulkey is believed to be the only coach who has been suspended by the NCAA (not a conference) for criticizing officials. That came in 2013 when she blamed the officials for Baylor’s upset loss to Louisville in the Sweet 16 (you had Griner, you blew it). Mulkey had to sit out Baylor’s first round game in 2014, and was fined her per diem (this was apparently important to the NCAA, even though Mulkey is a millionaire). She had previously been reprimanded by the NCAA in 2011 for complaining about Baylor being put in the same region as Texas A&M. Even this past tournament, when everyone with a basic knowledge of basketball knew Baylor got screwed by a non-call in the Elite Eight, she still managed to yell at the media for the non-call.
Mulkey was recruiting for Baylor while planning to leave
Baylor announced the signing of grad transfer Jordan Lewis (Alabama) last Tuesday. We don’t know the exact timeline yet, but the first rumors about Mulkey heading to LSU came last weekend, and it is safe to assume that Mulkey (or her representatives) was already talking to LSU when she signed Lewis. Now it’s entirely possible that Mulkey told Lewis she might not stick around, but we aren’t that gullible, are we?
The clothes
Dawn Staley is a fashion trendsetter, from the shoes to the clothes, the custom outfits, the personalized kicks, the civic messages, she emanates an urban confidence and cool that matches her basketball acumen. Nikki Fargas gave Staley a run for her money in the shoe game, but she is gone to Vegas. Mulkey is also renowned for her clothes, and she exudes suburban contrarianism - blazers, animal prints, tight pants and heels...
You know what, I can’t hate. I’m totally here for the fashion battles between Mulkey and Staley. Bring it on. You can have Gary Blair and his rolled up sleeves and loosened tie, I’ll take Staley and Mulkey in clothes that cost more than I make in three months. I want to see every wild outfit they’ve got in their closets. Every sequin and every bespoke jacket. Their shoes are legendary. First one to stroll out in a pair of 1999 Nike Zoom S5s (aka Dawn Staleys) wins. I don’t know what round two is, but it’s coming.
