SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS FOOTBALL
When Kiel Pollard woke up, he knew something was different.
He knew something was off—he’d felt it since the moment he woke up—but got out of bed and went, like he always did, to practice and into the training room for treatment.
But as he sat on a table in the Gamecocks' training room, the beats and vibrations from whatever song he was listening to reverberating and filling his head, the emotions he was feeling finally bubbled up to the surface and he couldn’t contain them anymore.
“I just started crying. I never get that emotional. I just started crying, like something told me it was over with,” he said, pausing for a few seconds. “I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much or ever felt that heartbroken about something.”
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On that day, Pollard’s football career came to an end.
On that day, the three-month process of self-realization started and now it culminates Saturday on Senior Night.
“At first it was hard finding a reason to get out of bed. That was probably the hardest thing. I still have some trouble with that. It’s finding that reason to get out of bed,” Pollard said. “That’s what I’m still trying to figure out.”
The moment
The day started off like any other day.
The Gamecocks were in the middle of camp, a grueling month-long stretch of preseason practice, film sessions and weight lifting designed to test a player’s mental fortitude as much as his physical one.
This particular practice was about halfway through camp, and the Gamecocks were lining up do to do their version of the Oklahoma Drill—the Cock Drill—and Pollard’s football career ended in a split second.
“I was so ready to fire off and get off after him,” he said, pausing. ”I dropped my head and tucked my chin. I felt a pop and a tingle in my arms. At the time, I thought, ‘Hey, I’m all right. Let’s go get checked out and make sure it’s not too bad.’ We went into the training room with some other guys who were hurt. I never thought it was going to be over.”
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After hours of MRIs and medical tests, he found himself sitting on that training table, music blasting and tears welling in his eyes.
Pollard didn’t know it yet, but that MRI found not only a broken neck, which would have healed in about six weeks, but a cyst on a spine that effectively ended his career.
“I was there all night,” he said. “The people kept telling me to come back, and I knew that was something bad.”
As news started to trickle out about the promising young talent set to have a big senior season, it hit his former teammates like a Mack truck.
“Honestly, I almost started crying. I know what it’s like to have your football career over—not quite to that extent—but to have it cut short like that and almost unjustifiably taken out from underneath you, it wears on you,” Perry Orth said. “You wouldn’t wish that on your worst enemy.”
Finding a purpose
Pollard knew what his senior season might have entailed if he stayed healthy.
He knew how hard he and his roommates—Bryan Edwards and Chavis Dawkins—worked when no one was watching to make the most of their final years in college, and knew the NFL was a very real possibility.
Through the entire summer, at every team cookout, the message was simple: “we were destined to have a great year.”
Then, in a split second, his future was changed forever.
“Oh man, Kiel’s handled it well,” Edwards said. “Him being who he is, football’s been his life and he had that taken away from him. He’s done a great job and starting to adjust and get back to being himself. He was down for a moment but I’m so proud of him. He’s doing a heck of a job.”
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It’s been a winding road for Pollard, but he’s slowly but surely finding solace in helping his teammates in other ways on the Gamecock support staff.
“He’s going to have days where he sits there and watches his old highlights and watches plays he’s made just to remember that he did have good times and was a good player,” Orth said. “The fact he’s jumping right into it and isn’t leaving the game and is still helping out is going to help his transition incredibly.”
The first game
The official announcement of his retirement from football came August 16 with Pollard officially joining the staff to help the coaches in whatever capacity he could.
Honestly, Pollard just wanted to be close to a football field, but with it comes the sudden understanding that he can be with the team, share the same space and wear the same logo, but he still won’t be able to play.
That came in the Gamecocks’ first game of the year against North Carolina.
“I remember tearing up on the way there. I usually ride the players’ bus but I couldn’t ride the players’ bus the first time. I had to ride the support staff bus. I remember saying, ‘I won’t be able to play today.’ That’s what I kept saying in my head and tearing up,” Pollard said.
“We went up to the stadium and that’s all I kept replaying in my head—you won’t be able to play today—and as soon as I stepped on the field, I started crying. I went back into the locker room and shedding tears again.”
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While coaching and being around the teammates he’s sacrificed with on a daily basis since he stepped on campus four years ago helps, it still doesn’t compare to donning the helmet and taking the field to 2001 knowing he was playing at Williams-Brice.
“The hardest part is Saturdays, man,” he said. “It’s an empty space you want to go help, you know you can help but you can’t help. As a little kid, if you get in trouble at school and your momma told you that you can’t go out and play with your neighbors. You’re almost looking out the window and seeing your brothers playing and you’re not able to play because you’re set back. It’s going to take a long time to get over it.”
It’s been a long road for Pollard, who’s probably felt every emotion imaginable over the last three months as he watched his team get out to a 3-5 start, knowing he should have been out there playing.
He’s come out on the other side better, and while it may not seem like it every day, he can only smile now when he thinks about just how far he’s come.
“You put all your marbles into one dream and you focus on one dream. You get that taken away from you, it’s hard,” Pollard said. “I don’t think no one without a support staff or faith, I don’t think they’d make it through this situation."
What’s next
Even growing up, Pollard knew he wanted to go into coaching. He grew up hanging around his older brother, who would bring him out to his football practices and somehow, some way, Pollard gravitated to the coaches.
He knew trading in the helmet and pads for a hat and whistle was probably going to happen, it just happened a little sooner than he preferred.
Pollard’s healthy now, back to playing basketball and laughing about being able to do backflips again, and is scheduled to gradate with his degree in interdisciplinary studies this December.
He’ll be back at South Carolina for the foreseeable future as a graduate assistant while he works on his master’s degree in Educational Technology, something that when he talks about it brings a smile to his face.
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“He’s very competitive and every coach needs to be competitive,” former teammate Cory Helms said. “The biggest thing with him is how passionate he was: when he plays, when he works out, when he’s with the guys. Even if he’s just playing a video game he’s passionate about it. I think that’s going to be the biggest trait that’s going to help him.”
One of Pollard’s final moment with his signing class will come Saturday night as he and 24 other members of the Gamecock team are honored as part of Senior Day.
For some, it’ll be one of their final games of their career, others one of the final games before going on to professional football. For Pollard, it’ll be one of the last times he gets honored before beginning his coaching journey full time.
“With my situation, I know I’m not the only one who’s been through this situation,” he said. “I want to help the next kid, the next young man. Life is tough and getting through these obstacles will show your great. I just want to help the next generation and leave my legacy.”
